Hello and welcome to your weekly ramblings of a deranged sweatshop owner trying to destroy Clinton’s one card at a time. Right, it’s official, CHRISTMAS is finally done! We’ve got cards, we’ve got jumpers but most importantly some of the most hilariously awful video content in Christmas history coming your way 💁🏽♀️💁🏽♀️. I tried to film a family catwalk with Nani 🙈 and omg bless her soul turns out she thought I genuinely meant walk like a cat 😭😭. I was crying but also trying not to because she was being adorable. I explained we don’t need her to do cat claws and the idea is to walk like a model. So, then she started to do this slow walk that had what I can only describe as an inbuilt gangster lean. But it is what it is, and I hope we go viral 😂.
We took a bit of risk launching Christmas jumpers this year so getting photos of you guys wearing them out and about is giving me life! Someone messaged this morning to say she got a compliment for the “It’s Christmas Bitch!” jumper from an elderly woman in M&S of all places! If you've been around for a while you'll know I still hate them a bit from when they tried to sue us over a Colin the Caterpillar card but anyway... Apparently, she stopped to read it and said it was “right up her street”. Not who I thought our target demo was tbh, but she’s clearly an icon and I like to think her and Nani would be friends 🙌.
Not sure if you've been keeping up with our Insta but I asked people what they were saying "no" to this November and one lady said she'd been told she had to give up smoking cold turkey for health reasons. So, I agreed that if she made it the month we'd send her our 1 month quitting smoking anniversary card but now I'm really invested and have decided she's basically the mascot for all of our indiviudal hopes and dreams. So, no pressure 🙃. I've also had secret DMs from her best friend and daughter and they are acting as double agents and will snitch on her if she cheats 👀. Been very much enjoying her quitting updates and how we've all got behind her. She's quite funny but also full of rage which is fun.
I hope you’re all doing fantastically and well done for surviving another week. I’ll be honest I’ve been quite stressed and had chicargo pizza for breakfast two days in a row. Would recommend tbh. Here’s to a brilliant week ahead, winning the lottery and or getting complimented by someone you think is really fit 🎉. Also, don’t forget that we do the best cards, mugs and now jumpers on the planet. Oh, and Clintons' are c*nts, obvs.