Since our recent success i.e., finally overtaking Clintons, Nani keeps warning me not to be a “big head”, so I figured I’d humble myself and share my top 5 business fails so far 😂🙈. Let me know if you have a favourite fuck up, number 4 definitely caused the most tension 🙃💁🏾♀️.
- Selling 20k cards to a major retailer and convincing every person I’d ever met to help us pack them, only to make like 2p in profit a card because I didn’t do the maths properly 🙃
- Getting threatened with legal action by M&S despite having an actual law degree 🙈. All because I made a birthday card that said, “this isn’t just any birthday card, this is a hand drawn Colin the Caterpillar birthday card because you’re boujee AF”. Aldi would never.
- Getting a bit carried away during the first lock down, panic ordering a casual 50k envelopes and not telling grandad until 500 boxes were about 10 minutes away from the sweatshop.
- The great printer stand-off of March 2021. We had a massive uptake in orders for Valentine’s Day and I decided we needed a big fuck-off industrial printer. Grandad insisted it didn’t fit. I insisted it did. It arrived, we had to rip off one of the doors in their travel agents to get it in. It still didn’t fit. We had to send it back and the door remains unattached.
- The time I did a Instagram live for Mother’s Day. The idea was for it to be a sophisticated wine and shop night. It escalated. I got absolutely shit faced and it ended with me dancing on the table to spice girls, throwing up all over auntie's new sofa and almost crashing into a filing cabinet. Only sold 30 cards 😭.
Here’s to continuing towards world card domination, our new rivals who will be referred to only as Space Bacon from now on and all the exciting new fuck-ups to come 😂🙌