My top 5 business fails so far ๐ŸŽ‰

Since our recent success i.e., finally overtaking Clintons, Nani keeps warning me not to be a โ€œbig headโ€, so I figured Iโ€™d humble myself and share my top 5 business fails so far ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ˆ. Let me know if you have a favourite fuck up, number 4 definitely caused the most tension ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ.

  • Selling 20k cards to a major retailer and convincing every person Iโ€™d ever met to help us pack them, only to make like 2p in profit a card because I didnโ€™t do the maths properly ๐Ÿ™ƒ
  • Getting threatened with legal action by M&S despite having an actual law degree ๐Ÿ™ˆ. All because I made a birthday card that said, โ€œthis isnโ€™t just any birthday card, this is a hand drawn Colin the Caterpillar birthday card because youโ€™re boujee AFโ€. Aldi would never.
  • Getting a bit carried away during the first lock down, panic ordering a casual 50k envelopes and not telling grandad until 500 boxes were about 10 minutes away from the sweatshop.
  • The great printer stand-off of March 2021. We had a massive uptake in orders for Valentineโ€™s Day and I decided we needed a big fuck-off industrial printer. Grandad insisted it didnโ€™t fit. I insisted it did. It arrived, we had to rip off one of the doors in their travel agents to get it in. It still didnโ€™t fit. We had to send it back and the door remains unattached.
  • The time I did a Instagram live for Motherโ€™s Day. The idea was for it to be a sophisticated wine and shop night. It escalated. I got absolutely shit faced and it ended with me dancing on the table to spice girls, throwing up all over auntie's new sofa and almost crashing into a filing cabinet. Only sold 30 cards ๐Ÿ˜ญ.

Hereโ€™s to continuing towards world card domination, our new rivals who will be referred to only as Space Bacon from now on and all the exciting new fuck-ups to come ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™Œ


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